This is nae a sang o' love na', nor yet a sang o' money,
Faith it's naethin' verra peetifu', it's naethin' verra funny;
But there's Hielan' Scotch, Lowland Scotch, 
And Butter Scotch an' honey.
If there's nane o' them for a' there's a mixture o' the three.

An' there's nae a word o' beef, brose, sowens, Sauty bannocks na',
Nor pies, eggs, peas meals for them wi' dainty stammicks;
It's a' aboot a meal and ale that happened at Balmannocks,
McGinty's meal and ale, whaur the pig gaed on the spree.

They were howlin' in the kitchen like a caravan o Tinkies, aye,
And some were playing ping-pong and tiddely widdely winkies;
For up the howe an' doon the howe ye niver saw such jinkies,
As McGinty's meal and ale, whaur the pig gaed on the spree.

Noo McGinty's pig had broken lowse, an' wannert tae the lobby,
Whaur he opened shived the pantry door, an' cam' upon the toddy;
And he took kindly tae the stuff like ony human boddy,
At M'Ginty's meal and ale whaur the pig gaed on the spree

Miss McGinty she ran but the hoose, th' wey was dark an' crookit,
She gaed heelster gowdie ower the pig, for it she never lookit;
And she lat oot a skirl wad hae paralysed a teuchit,
At McGinty's meal and ale whaur the pig gaed on the spree.

They were howlin' in the kitchen like a caravan o Tinkies, aye,
And some were playing ping-pong and tiddely widdely winkies;
For up the howe an' doon the howe ye niver saw such jinkies,
As McGinty's meal and ale, whaur the pig gaed on the spree.

They had spurtles, they had tattie chappers, faith they werena jokin'
And they swore they'd gar the pig claw whaur he was never yokin'
But by this time the lad was fou' and didna' care a dockin'
At McGinty's meal and ale whaur the pig went on the spree.

Oh! There's eelie pigs an' jeelie pigs, an' pigs for haudin' butter,
Aye but this pig was greetin' fou' and rowin' in the gutter,
Till McGinty and his foreman trailed him oot upon a shutter,
Frae McGinty's meal and ale whaur the pig gaed on the spree.

They were howlin' in the kitchen like a caravan o Tinkies, aye,
And some were playing ping-pong and tiddely widdely winkies;
For up the howe an' doon the howe ye niver saw such jinkies,
As McGinty's meal and ale, whaur the pig gaed on the spree.

Well howlin' in the kitchen like a caravan o Tinkies, aye,
And some were playing ping-pong and tiddely widdely winkies;
For up the howe an' doon the howe ye niver saw such jinkies,
At McGinty's meal and ale, whaur the pig gaed on the spree.

Dearie me

At McGinty's meal and ale, whaur the pig gaed on the spree.
